Saturday, July 29, 2006

Only in Syria: Borong Bus??

Does anyone here know what is a "Borong Bus"?

If you guys give up, let me know so I can tell you.

Shame on you guys... no takers? Here is the story of Borong Bus.
Borong Bus is not a fictional hero (although it sounds like it), it is not a Syrian dish, and it is not a brand name of anything.
As I drove my brother and his wife yesterday to the airport, I couldn't help but noticing a big printed illuminated box stating the conditions of travel for Syrians, Arabs, and foreigners written both in Arabic and English.
The note states in arabic the following:

"على المسافرين أن يكون بحوزتهم جواز سفر صالح وبطاقة الطائرة (بورونغ باص) قبل دخول باب المغادرين"


I tried hardly to think what could this be. Is it an IATA terms that I don't know? Is it a typo of some kind? Is it a Persian or Urdu or Hebrew translation of "plane ticket"?
I only found the answer when I scrolled down and looked at the English version. I wish I had a camera to take a picture of it, but I didn't. Furthermore I think the airport is a no-photo area and I would be afraid someone would grab me and put me into a cell.
Anyway, the English version was a three liner with at least 6 or 7 grammatical and spelling errors, and it states that "departures foreigners should have their passports and plane tickets (Borong Bus) with them.... bla bla bla" I can't remember the exact wording but I will get it if possible soon.

I felt ashamed of myself being in this place where no one even bothers to get someone who knows a little bit of English to make the sentecne look right. Being in this place where "Boarding Pass" becomes "Borong Bus" (apparently the person who dictated the English version is both hard of hearing and cannot pronounce the letter "P" right).
I am sure the country is full of typos and deadly mistakes of this kind. But what does it take to have an English literature graduate construct a neat sentence with no "assholeness" such as above to save themselves such humiliation? And yes I say humiliation, because what are those "departures foreigners" going to say about the management or the government when they see stupidity expressed in its simplest version in the places where it shouldn't show?

I pledge to our officials to consider perfection in these slight features of modernization and civilization as opposed to the common rule of هات إيدك والحقني

And I wonder what would an official in the airport do if someone brought that to his attention? Maybe I should and tell then what will happen.

Friday, July 28, 2006

More friends news

Good news for those of you stuck in the States on H1 visas. Two friends of mine, Ayham Ashkar (aka: the boss) and Fadi Hayek, have made the courageous move of coming to Syria. They both got their visas within 10 days or so.
This means one thing: I should be seeing more of you guys coming here to entertain me before I return :-)
On the other hand, you can also try to fix yourself with someone (this is addressed to my single fellas of course).

Email Blogging

I am trying to use the email for publishing blog entries. I hope this works, it will make my mobile blogging easier if I had to do it.
Who knows, maybe one day they would block my site, as they stupidly do all the time. Now they block Hotmail, but that is not a problem because of tons of alternate ways. But what is more disgusting is that access to Pubmed - a medical article search engine - is denied. I don't think this is from Syria, but I think because it is due to something they did here, maybe politically driven or so. This is so bad because this site is the main site for doctors looking for information, both new and old. :(

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

One Year

One year since I left USA to come to Syria...
One year of blog publishing and 184 entries...
One year of funny, serious, and silly personal articles...
I don't regret it so far, although I wish some things went in different directions.
One year of "personal acheivements", I will not be listed in Forbes 500 nor receive a Nobel peace prize.
One year of new experiences and faces.
At least I managed to stick to my blog theme. I kept it a reflection of personal experiences or personal thoughts triggered by things that happen around me here.
I had periods of laziness, others were too personal.
One year of new blogger friends and readers. It is not what I intended my blog to be, but I like what it became.
I would like to thank my family, my fiancee, my friends (Tony, Wael in DC, Felicia, Saba, Fadi, Maya, Lulu, Adonis, Halim, Firas...), my new friends (Sampsa from Finland, Omar, Gray-fox, No one, Anonymous readers) in addition to anyone whom I missed to mention, especially those who drop but don't have the time for commenting.

Now I should be ready for another year.

Addendum: In order not to upset anyone with forgetting them, I would like to thank Maher, Shady Zayat, and Gijs in addition to others. I will add names as I remember them :O)

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Alice in Wonderland

لم أجد عنواناً أفضل من هذا لهذه المقالة، علماً أن بطلها لا يدعى أليس، وأما بلاد العجائب فهي غنية عن التعريف. وأما سبب الكتابة بالعربية، فأولاً أنا لست بمزاج يؤهلني لترجمة القصة وثانياً منشان ما نتبهدل قدام الأجانب
يروي القصة والد طفل مريض بورم وهذا الطفل المسكين مصاب بآلام تكاد تعنو حتى على المسكنات المخدرة. وللأسف فإن هذا الوالد قد عانى الأمرين في محاولة منه لتخفيف ألم ابنه وهو يتألم أمامه.
لا أتوقع من القراء أن يكونوا ضليعين بالطب ومعالجة الألم، ولا أتوقع ذلك حتى من الأطباء أنفسهم. لكن القصة تجري كمايلي. ويجب العلم قبل بداية القصة أن المسكنات المركزية المورفينية صعبة التوافر حتى عن طريق وزارة الصحة في سوريا، وهي يوماً موجودة وغائبة أياماً أكثر:

احتاج هذا الطفل المسكين في وقت من الأوقات إلى كمية كبيرة من أبر المورفين لتهدئة الألم. وعندما كانت الأبر متوفرة في الصيدليات كان الأمر لا بأس به. لكن عندما ازدادت حاجته عن مقدار معين (عشر أبر يومياً، وهي ليست بكمية كبيرة إذ أني وضعت مرضى على أكثر من ذلك بكثير) فعندما ازدادت تلك الحاجة أصبح على الوالد أن يقدم طلباً استثنائياً لوزير الصحة.
لم يقصر الوالد في تعبئة الطلبات وكتابة الرسائل بالطرق النظامية إلى أن وصلت إلى معاون المدير وقوبلت بالرفض لأن الوزير غير موجود وليس ذلك من صلاحيات أو لم يستطع المعاون أن يتحمل المسؤولية تلك (لا أدري لم المعاون إذن إن كان هنالك ضرورة لاتخاذ قرار حاسم بغياب الوزير!!!). وذلك رغم أن الوالد قدم في الطلب قبوله بلجنة خماسية تفصح الطفل المعني وتقرر على أساسه.
طبعاً ليس ذلك كل شيء، فأحد الأطباء في الوزارة قابل الوالد بسؤاله عندما كان يقدم الطلب: "هل أنت تتعاطى المخدر؟". غني عن الذكر مقدار عجب وامتعاض الأب إذ أردف الطبيب قائلاً: "أتعرف أن 6 أبر مورفين توقف قلب الإنسان؟" (طبعاً هذه عبارة في قمة الغباء). عندها دخل الأب مع الطبيب في سجال طبي اصطف إلى جانبه طبيب آخر ضد رأي الأول. وعندها قال الطبيب الأول: " هل أنت معي أم معه؟"
فأجابه الثاني: "أنا مع الحق، أساساً كل الأبر التي تستقدمونها عبارة عن أبر ماء!" (أبر ماء؟؟؟؟؟!!!!!!)
عندها قال الأول: "حسابك معي بعدين."

عندها، وعند رواية هذا القسم من القصة كادت عيوني تخرج من محاجرها، نزل الأب وأوقف سيارة تاكسي. أثناء وجوده فيها كان يتكلم عن مشكلته إلى أحد ما على الموبايل ويبدو أن سائق التكسي لفتت انتباهه كلمة "مورفين"، وعندها دار الحديث التالي.
سائق التاكسي: "أتريد المورفين من أجل التعاطي؟"
الأب: "لا ابني مريض وموجوع" وسرد له القصة.
"أنا استطيع أن أؤمنها لك"
اندهش الأب هنا "من أين؟"
"مو شغلتك، أنا بدبرهن إلك. أنا بتعاطى مخدرات"
"بكام الأبرة (الأبرة حوالي عشر ملغ)؟"
"ألفين ليرة" (حوالي 40 دولار، علماً أن سعر الأبرة النظامي عندما يكون متوفر 35 ليرة، أي أقل من دولار)
"موافق، كيف ممكن اتصل معك؟"
"أنا بحكي معك بعد كام يوم"
وهنا انتهى الحديث، وفعلاً بعد عدة أيام يتلقى الأب مكالمة من السائق
"كم أبرة تريد؟"
"كم أبرة متوفرة لديك؟"
"سبعين"
"أحضرها كلها" وتم الاتفاق على الالتقاء عند إحدى الساحات.
هنا قام الأب بتدبير 140 ألف ليرة وانتظر في الساحة. عندها أتاه مكالمة من السائق مرة أخرى.
سائق التاكسي "أين أنت الآن؟"
"أنا في الساحة مقابل المخفر"
"تعال إلى أمام المخفر"
طبعاً هنا لم يعد الأب يستطيع التحمل أكثر، يعني عملية تبادل لمواد مخدرة أمام مخفر الشرطة كان أكثر مما يتحمله العقل.
"لا تخاف، ما حدا بيسترجي يحكي معنا شي!"
وفعلاً أتى الأب إلى أمام المخفر وكان سائق التاكسي يحمل الأبر في علب طبق الأصل عن تلك التي تؤمنها الدولة وقد وضعها في كيس شفاف وكأنها لا شيء يذكر. ولكن النهفة ليست هنا بل ما حصل لاحقاً.
أراد الأب أن يسلم السائق المبلغ وإذ به يقول له: "إن معلمي قال بما أن المورفين لطفل موجوع فهو سيبيع الأبرة برأسمالها أي ألف ليرة، ولا يريدون منه سوى 70 ألف ليرة..."

فما رأيكم.... دام فضلكم؟؟؟
هذه القصة هي قمة ما يمكن أن أسميه بالعار... وأنا واثق أنها لن تكون الأخيرة.

Monday, July 24, 2006

The Dark Side of a 5 Star Hotel: Four Seasons

This didn’t happen to me but to my brother, who just returned from a pleasant honeymoon in Malaysia and Thailand. As newlywed, we elected to have them stay in the Four Seasons hotel instead of being guests in our house for two nights. The Four Seasons is now the most recent and luxurious hotel in Damascus. This is what happened with them:
My brother and fiancée arrived at 6 PM to check in, just to be told that they need to wait 20 minutes for the room to be ready... Not ready???!! At 6 PM? A room should be vacant at 12 PM and in order for human use.
Then my brother needed something from his luggage which was left with the porter outside. He was sent to pick it without his bag tag for identification. What is worse is that the bags were unattended, left alone, no one bothered to check whether the bag is his or not.
In the room, the bathroom was lacking a shower cap, an essential tool for every woman in need of taking a shower. It arrived after 30 minutes. The Q tips were left spread uncovered or contained.
Next day, they left the room at 10 AM, at one o’clock in the morning they return to find the room to their shock untidy. They had to spend half an hour in the lobby awaiting the room to be prepared.
Then while loading their bags in the car, it started moving on its own as the valet person forgot the pull the handbrake and left the gear on neutral.
Needless to say my brother’s temper reached its limit and after paying his bill he made an issue of all the above.

The good side of the 5 star hotel: the hotel manager called, listened patiently to all the complaints and offered a free night as my brother had to extend his stay in Damascus.

Now I am not sure whether this was my brother’s bad luck, or it is just the tax a customer has to pay being the victim of Syrian tourism.
In short, we still need few decades to be like our closest neighbors, even as they get bombarded.

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Trip to Lattakia

I just got back from a two day trip to Lattakia with my fiancee to visit some of my relatives. The highlights of the trip were the following:
1- I got to see my relatives in general outside the معمعة of the wedding.
2- I saw my cousin Hanna who I haven't seen for 9 years or so, and currently he is abroad.
3- Swimming in the Cote d'Azur resort. The sea is nicer than anything my memory can help me with regarding this specific location. I got extremely tired after that.
4- Saw some old friends
5- And most importantly, my aunt cooks to point of literally eating your fingers after lunch. All my favorite foods are readily prepared and extremely delicious. Moghrabiyeh, Dobbo, Roasted fish, Kibbeh Mseileeka, and many others (drooling)

No Comment

... and it seems no one else in the world is commenting either.
I got this in the email: From Israel to Lebanon.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

TV Guide

It isn't customary that I write on current political matters but I couldn't but notice one thing. Every one now knows the agony and disaster that Lebanese people suffer due to Israeli hatred and bombing.
And this is what TV schedules look like for regional TV stations:

Al Jazeera/Al Arabia: Breaking news, live commentary, breaking news, news, breaking news, news analysis, breaking news, etc... (In addition to live news tracker and live scenes).
Al Manar: Breaking news, patriotic anthems, news, interviews, breaking news, interviews, speeches, etc... (In addition to live news tracker and live scenes).
Al Mustakbal: Interviews, breaking news, news, commentary, breaking news, more interviews, etc... (In addition to live news tracker and live scenes).
ANB: Interviews, news, live commentary, breaking news, breaking news, news analysis, etc... (In addition to live news tracker and live scenes).
Syria: Live commentary, breaking news, interviews, breaking news, analysis, news, patriotic anthems, etc... (In addition to live news tracker and live scenes).
New TV: Breaking news, analysis, news, breaking news, interviews, patriotic anthems, breaking news, etc... (In addition to live news tracker and live scenes).
AND...
LBC: Naharkom Saiid, cooking lessons, Mexican drama, news, Arabic drama, Deal or no deal, news and interviews, Iktashafna Al Baroud, feature movie, and no news tracker...
Can anyone explain this contradiction (in addition to the "it's-all-sad-news-and-people-should-have-some-fun)??

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Gilgamesh

No, I am not going to talk about the most ancient epic. Yesterday I attended with some folks a musical work composed by Kinan Al-Azmeh, the renown clarinet player, in association with interactive live drawing by Kivork Murad, an Armenian artist skilled in interactive painting.
The setting was new and weird. The new piece of music was mostly sad and ancient, sometimes with awkward background music playing on the computer. According to the introduction it should have represented what king Gilgamesh feelings or thoughts were when looking at his beloved city after 5000 years.
The drawing was on either black or white background using white or black paint respectively. It was a mixture of pre-made drawings and live drawing. The first being projected from a computer, and the second projected live from a camera facing the drawing platform. The projection was on a huge white screen placed on the old wall of Damascus which faces the interior of the Armenian Orthodox Headquarter.

At the same time, at this time of war, other "light concerts" such as George Wassouf, Nancy Ajram, Ragheb Alameh and others have been cancelled as people would not attend and some were automatically cancelled.

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Best Man

So finally, we got my brother married. I look at the bed near me in the bedroom and ask myself is it going to be occupied again? The wedding was nice, trivial annoyances (especially with the flower guys at Arom: bad attitude), and everything was as perceived. And I was the best man.
No one told me that being the best man is the toughest job in the wedding. Of course I helped a lot in the preparations but I take it this is because my brother is not here. But I had no clue.
The last time I was asked to be a best man, it was in USA. No one assigned any task to me. I appeared, made what I think was a lousy speech after all lines evaporated suddenly in front of the crowd, and then returned to my city. That was relatively fine. Little did I know.
Here the best man is everything and the major person of contact for everything. Do this, do that, kick this, bake that, pay this, shout at that, this that, this that..... And so on.
I don't think I was every this exhausted mentally and physically (perhaps to a close extent just before I returned from my last trip). But the good thing about it after all is the outcome, and positive feedback. It feels like my victory (knowing that others have put a great deal of effort). I am still doing my best man duties even after it all ended. I hope not for long.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Football Wedding: aka العرس الكروي

The craze of world cup 2006 is about to end. France and Italy to the finals, and many doubt the validity of their achievements. But this is not the issue. Yesterday Italy won 2 to nothing against Germany. Then people started expressing their Identity Confusion.
The area where I live has became the hot spot for celebrations. Young kids from the neighborhood, joined by hundreds more of the suburbs, start to raise flags, scream with joy and drive around in the middle of the night honking and waking up every resting soul. People would arrive in taxis just to join the celebration. I am pretty sure that such a cheerleading campaign never happened when Ghada Shoaa won Syria a gold medal.
The amazing thing is that whenever a game is played, somebody would go out and celebrate. And these somebodies take pride in their "favorite team" achievements as if they were nationals of that country. The flags proudly flutter on tops of houses and on balconies, not to mention the absence of the Syrian flag itself, which I thought at least should be displayed with the others. It seems that the positive reports from UN inspectors have faded the patriotic move that heated few months ago. A friend of mine (in one of the Syrian towns) has tried shopping around for the Syrian flag... his mission failed because "we don't have it". Of course you can guess the reason: "Syria in not participating in World Cup". How can that happen?
Hence the Identity confusion. Have we lost our belonging, or got bored with it, to make this switch in positions? And is this a sign of frustration? Or is it the government trying to let the people get busy with such trivial things to divert them from big things happening? I personally cheer a certain team in the World Cup, but I don't remember myself displaying flags and driving around like crazy, or even getting into fight with others regarding who won and who didn't.
I have another interesting thought. Let's suppose that someone is cheering USA (why not, everyone has the right to cheer whoever they want), would it be acceptable in Syria to display the American flag on the top of the roof? Or would the government allow it? And shouldn't this be the case for every other nation too? I had an evil thought of having someone displaying the USA flag for cheering it, and then the government would have to remove all the other flags.
I am glad this is coming to an end anyway. Are we anyway ever to be in the elite 32 teams once before I die??

Monday, July 03, 2006

Weddings

It is summer time, and this means one thing (out of many of course): more weddings on the way. Everyone waits the summer to tie the big knot that will allow them to live together, bake children and quarrel legally.
Over the last 2 weeks or so we have attended somthing like 3 weddings. But this time with a different pair of eyes. This time with an examining and criticizing eye, as my brother's wedding is just few days ahead. Now it is comparison time, they-did-this-thing-and-that-thing time, I-need-to-outbid-what-they-did time, and are-people-going-to-notice-the-difference time, and so forth.
When you are in my position you look at things differently. Surely you get some ideas about what shouldn't be. But the problem comes when trying to match the others come into existance. This switches the balance of everything upside down. Now it is the last minute, and we should expand and conquer. The original ideas then lose their originality and individuality to fearing of being less.
Anyway, it is not an easy task to organize and arrange a wedding. This is true because two people are involved. My advice to you men out there... Organize your wedding the way you want it, then try to look for a bride to fit, LOL.... just kidding. What I wanted to say, you men out there... I feel sorry for you. And I am joining you not that long.